I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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