Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
