I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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