Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
