I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
