I want to stick my p in your. b.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize