I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
