Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Randomize
