Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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