Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i will never coherently bang her
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
