dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
her vagine was all disorganized.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize