I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize