do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize