I could have mohawked her pubes.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
