I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
