Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
