did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
