i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
only if we run a train.
done.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
