took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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