Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
