Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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