Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
