she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
