4 words: hood of his car
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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