Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
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