woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
there was a trapeze. enough said
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
