he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
