Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
