So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize