Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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