K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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