today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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