Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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