Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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