I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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