you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize