you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
