one two three fourrrrnication!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
