i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
