Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
