You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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