I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
