1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
