We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize