you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
