you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
