Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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