Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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