Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it was like eating out sand paper
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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