She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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