every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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