I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
