i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
