she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Can I color on your dick again?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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