you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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