White coat. Heels.
I skipped work to stalk him.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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