Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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