Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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