I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
