From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We are all done wearing pants today
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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