Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
