btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
